SPEECH #7

SPEECH #7: Note to Self 25’

I entered 2025 sleeping, breaking a streak of my family tradition where my siblings and I would hold money as we counted down to midnight. I remember being super worried about it because I didn’t know what it would mean for my new year. Little did I know, 2025 would be a true awakening. I had an emotional growth spurt.

While continuing to go to school, which obviously came with its challenges due to the intense working environment and workload, I managed to remain financially stable throughout the entire year. For the first time in a while in my life, I didn’t go more than a couple of days without any money in my pocket. I found the work and more opportunities to work, and I was probably the most financially stable I had been since Mommy’s passing, for which I am forever grateful.

I wasn’t able to fully immerse myself in outside-of-school activities like my content, own music, acting, and other entertainment work due to prioritizing my schoolwork and having to manage my time wisely.

However, I did grow vocally and was able to get back in touch with my acting roots, rediscovering skills that I thought had disappeared.

This year, I began to dive deep into the idea of being selfish, or rather, prioritizing myself, my needs, and my desires.

Turning 21 in 2024 didn’t feel like a true evolution. I didn’t feel a change. However, turning 22, I did start to feel older and like I was stepping more fully into adulthood, shockingly enough. I lost almost 100 pounds. I’ve probably felt the sexiest I’ve ever felt in my life at this point, and it even showed through my fashion choices. I really stepped out of my shell with how I dressed this year.

Even with my personality, I feel like I’ve been able to really show people more of who I am and who I’ve always been.

I grabbed at more opportunities for fun. I made it happen. I began to balance having to survive and being an adult, given that I am wise beyond my years and don’t have the same things on my plate as your average 22-year-old.

I began to foster and pay more attention to friendships and relationships that continue to empower and comfort me. I became extremely conscious of my surroundings and where I wanted to invest my emotional energy.

It wasn’t all sunshine and roses. I still found myself being anxious, but it caused me to become much more involved in prioritizing my peace and saying fuck it to the things I can’t control.

Towards the later half of the year, I also began to experience a series of transformative yet uncomfortable emotions that reminded me of my desires and brought other wishes to the surface, wishes I soon hope to welcome into my life.

I am doing more of what I want, what pleases me, and I am learning to move to the beat of my own drum, which brings me here.

In 2026, this year, I will be finishing college.

I will love myself more.

I will practice acceptance. I will give myself permission to feel whatever it is I need to feel.

I will become smarter.

I will be healthy.

I will continue to evolve into the grounded individual I want to be, while also accepting that I am still on my way there.

I will continue to provide opportunities for fun and fight like hell to give myself all the peace I need and deserve.

I will begin to fully invest back into my career, gaining the success I have always wanted.

I will continue to remain financially stable and expand my territory financially, physically, and within my craft.

I will continue to hold onto the relationships that feed me and make great memories with those I love, without worrying about things that are out of my control.

I will choose me.