SPEECH #4

SPEECH #4: Note to Self 23’

This year opened me up to adventure. In January, I traveled outside of the state by myself. Something I have never done before. I spent time with my best friend from college, and we had a blast. I was able to release one of my best songs to date and dedicate it to my mother, “741.” I finally entered my 20s in February. I shared one of the best nights of my life with my friends. By March, I fulfilled a lifelong musical goal of mine that I had; collaborating with my god sister on a song. We were met with massive support, and my YouTube content was on a roll. I feel like everything in my life was in order, except for my finances.

Due to financial hardship, I had to pause my studies in April, and began a massive job hunt which led nowhere. Going into May, I was confined to my bedroom. My allergies were kicking my ass, so I was sick every other week. I lost my grandmother in June, but I kept my head up, leading me to work a summer job I had last year again in July. The job somewhat solved my financial issues, but I encountered another setback; I found that I was developing singers' nodules and had to go on vocal rest for the rest of the summer. It didn’t stop me, though. I created my very first music video ever with my god sister and with the help of one of my best friends, premiering it in August. By the start of the fall, I had fully healed my vocal cords, released another music video for ‘741,’ officially landed a job, and begun finding my way back to school.”

Unlike last year, most of my expectations were met. I proudly overcame some challenges, but I still am navigating. I’m still figuring out who I am. It’s scary to continue this epic road that I am on without my mom physically being here. I’ve had my share of anxiety attacks in the last couple of months alone. Hovering over me is this cloud of uncertainty and worry. What gets me up in the morning is realizing that the cloud, though it makes a presence for itself, holds no weight, because I’m overseen by the sky that is mother. That’s my motivation. I always tell people “ I don’t know how I am doing it, but I am doing it.” As I approach the new year, I pray for stability, peace, success, companionship and most importantly, happiness.