SPEECH #3

SPEECH #3: TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS

July 16, 2023 marks one year without my mom’s physical presence.

One of the hardest obstacles I’m currently facing without her here is decision-making without her input. With everything going on in my life recently, I feel like a train approaching an intersection with no idea which direction to take.

For the first time ever, I feel completely unsure about how my future is going to unfold. Don’t get me wrong — I’m not saying I’m unsure of my goals (and even if I was, that would be okay). It’s more that I don’t always know what steps I need to take to actually achieve them. It’s stressful. Lately, I’ve found myself more overwhelmed than I’d like to be. Maybe I’m not supposed to know all the answers right now. Maybe God and the Universe are asking me to just flow with it?

Still, I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of trials and tribulations. Life feels like a constant cycle of exactly that — the experience of enduring challenges in order to overcome them and grow stronger in the process.

There are so many things I might have to do in the future that I don’t necessarily want to do — but I’ll need to do them in order to get to where I really want to be. That feeling of starting from the bottom? It’s not fun. I often find myself swimming in a pool of doubt, insecurity, and uncertainty. I know I’m not alone in that.

One thing I’ve been learning, though, is just how interesting time is. It’s fascinating — we don’t control it, but our entire lives revolve around it.

I’ve realized that trials and tribulations are deeply connected to time. Some challenges only reveal their solutions with time. That’s why sayings like “your darkest hour comes before the dawn” or “time will tell” resonate so deeply with me. The latter is something I constantly live by.

As I grow to understand time more, I feel like I’m also experiencing a revolution in my faith — a shift that’s working to quiet my negative thoughts and emotions. That shift is helping me get through each day a little more easily. My faith, combined with the spirit of my mother and the presence of God, gives me the strength to keep pushing forward.

I’ll admit, I love to run away from my problems — or at least try to. But lately I’ve been realizing that when you’re unable to escape a situation, it’s because you’re meant to be in it — at least in this current season of your life.

And as I begin to accept that… I can’t help but wonder, deep inside:

What does all of this mean for me?