SPEECH #2

SPEECH #2: MOM

Beanie, you were the first person I spoke to in the morning, the first voice I heard, whose footsteps I would hear at night when you would get up to use the bathroom. Then you’d walk by my bedroom door and peek in, just to make sure Suki and I were okay while we slept.

You definitely kept me busy, no matter what it was, I was not getting away from my chores. We spent time together. We watched YouTube videos, movies, cooked and listened to music together. I would run in your room to show you the new song I wrote and came up with and sing it in front of you and you would love it and give me your honest critique. Since I was a little boy, you invested in me. You trained me in becoming a singer and a businessman. You told me how to handle myself in the world. You brought me to church and helped me form a true connection with God. You were my support system, I could talk to you about literally anything and you didn’t judge me. You kept me happy, all when I got bullied or faced some type of obstacle in my life. Although we lived in the projects and we struggled at times, you always found a way. You gave me such an epic childhood. The 19 years I had with you is a true blessing.

When you weren’t feeling your best some days, I would get into bed with you and have you vent to me. I slept with you whenever you felt alone. I hugged you when you felt sad or when you would cry. I went with you to all of your appointments, wrote down notes, I kept track of your meds. I was completely on top of your health just as much as you were, to the point where the doctors assumed that I was a med student, because I knew everything that went on with you.

Such a positive being. Your positivity, your strength, your optimism, your charisma, your knowledge, and your craziness could move mountains. You were a soldier in my eyes. You’ll always remain a hero to me. A true flawless being.

Every day you made it clear to my siblings, and I that you love us. You made it clear to your friends and all of our family that you love them.

I wish we could have another 19+ years with you physically here. I miss you. The feeling of loneliness hits like a punch out of nowhere. What gets me up every day is when I remind myself that you are so much more closer than you ever been. You’re watching me. Even when I feel afraid to travel on my own or go anywhere on my own - I’m never too afraid, because I know that you’re watching me. I don’t fear too much of anything anymore, cause I know you’re there.

While writing this, I'm thinking about your smile, your face, your laugh.

I thought about the last couple of things you said to me. You told me to live my life, be successful, keep praying and believing God, and be happy. I didn’t write this out of sadness. I wrote this to empty my thoughts and let you know that I am, and will do those things. I won’t ever let you down. I hope you’re at peace. I love you to infinity.

I love you, Beanie❤️❤️❤️